I am on the cusp of a new beginning, or atleast, that is what I'd like to think. Change. Yes, change is what I crave for. Change is what I want. Change is what I need. Is change possible? Perhaps yes. Perhaps no. But do I stop myself from trying only because failure is the most obvious possibility?
I don't have an answer.
And what is the change I am craving for?
I don't know that either. The only thing that I know is, I am falling into the same trap that I have always advocated against. It is ironical, but it's true. If I want to be harsh on myself, I'd call it sheer opportunism, or if I have to rationalise and justify/defend myself, it can be called being pragmatic.
I am not too sure whether I'll be successful, or for that matter what is success? It is definitely not the same thing i thought of once, and I was never idealistic. I never craved for a utopian world, but then I never wanted to be a part of this extremely materialistic society as well. Perhaps, that was/is the reason for the choices I made/make. But now, everything seems like a distant dream.
Call it disillusionment, or call it failure.
I put on the garb of a Saint
Smear myself with holy paint,
Only to Fail
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